Chapter 12---Convict Craig

Ah yes, the Christmas season.  Time to wax nostalgic and time for me to start sharing my horrible, no good, very bad dating experiences.  We will start with the doozy from last year at this time.

I am on all sorts of social Web sites but gave up on the dating sites quite some time ago.  This particular site is for marrieds, singles, marrieds who wish they were still single, singles who wish they were married, etc. etc. 

This guy found me on one of these social sites and starting writing me.  We wrote back and forth for a month and I must admit, my biggest concern was whether or not he was gay.  His pic was a little suspect, but hey, I am willing to give people a shot for better or worse.  We basically wrote for a month.  I had started my new job on December 1 and didn't have ANY spare time to go out on a date.  He finally suggested that we meet in person and then it took a few weeks to figure out when it would work for both of us.

We met at Rodizio Grill in American Fork.  I remember how crazy the weather was.  It was NASTY and the roads were terrible, but I made it.  He was waiting for me in a corner booth.  Conversation was easy, he was fun to talk to and I thought he looked a little old for 50 or 51 which is what his profile said.  It was hard to believe that he had never sealed the deal with anyone since he was such a nice, kind guy.

While on date #1, I was very impressed because he basically asked me out for date #2.  Then he later bumped up the date by a week.  I was excited about that, because hey, so far, so good. 

Date #2 was a movie and dessert at Red Mango.  We saw Sherlock Holmes which I loved.  I love Robert Downey Jr. so I was excited to see it and really loved it.  We then went to Red Mango where bomb #1 was dropped.  During our casual, easy conversation, he nonchalantly dropped the fact that he was older than I thought he was.  I told him, "No, I know how old you are, you are 50."  Now being 110% honest about the situation, 10 years seemed a bit of a stretch, but again, for a good guy, I am willing to give him a shot.  His response was "No, I am older than that, I am 57."  BIG BOMB!  He is closer to my uncle's age than he is to mine AND my uncle is a grandpa.  57 and never been married AND a Mormon!?!?!!?!?

My initial reaction wasn't pretty.  I actually couldn't stop laughing.  I just couldn't get over the fact that I am so excited about someone, finally and he is an old man (no offense to those who are reading this who are old men, it's just that I don't want to date someone who technically could be retired and probably subscribes to AARP).   Course, as a side note, if I ever were to marry someone that old, and we had kids, I would be the only one in the family having to pay full price.  He would get the senior citizen discount and the kids of course, would get their discount.  It's a bargain lover's dream situation, really.

I think I even said horrible things such as, "You are, BY FAR, the oldest person I have ever gone out with." and, "You are closer to my parents' age than you are to mine."  You know, super charming, endearing comments that win a guy's heart.   While we were discussing his age, there were 2 girls in their twenties who had been sitting next to us and I am sure overheard us.  They both sort of looked at me with pity and sympathy in their eyes, and walked out the door.  Poor Craig.  He ended the date by telling me he would give me a call sometime and maybe I could consider dating an old man or something equally sad.

I was SO disappointed driving home.  I really had kind of crushed on him.  57!?!?!?!?  He is almost 60.  I just couldn't bring myself to go there.  So, after a weekend of mulling it over and discussing it with the single ladies in the 'hood, I decided that if it worked out, a few good years with a nice, good guy would be better than years all alone.  Sooooo, I swallowed my pride, and wrote him an e-mail apologizing for my reaction.  He just didn't seem that old to me.  I told him that there was enough that I liked about him that I would not worry about the age gap if he still wanted to go out with me.  He responded by telling me he wanted to spend lots of time getting to know me and spending time with me and would I like to go to a play that weekend?

Date #3!  This was looking pretty good.  I was excited to go out with him.  Times were crazy with my 4 Runner in the shop and all this stuff going on with my calling, but I was going on date #3 with this guy that I thought I could like, so I was pretty stoked and left all the calling stuff behind for a night.  With my car  in the shop I had this crazy stick shift jeep that made me feel like I was in high school.  I told him I would meet him at his house then we were going to dinner with his neighbors, then the play by ourselves.  We took the jeep, because how fun to be one sort of old person and one VERY old person playing like we were in high school again.

I thought it was strange he invited his neighbors to dinner, but then I realized as the dinner progressed (Thai food which I LOVE), that he was trying to sell me to them.  I thought, "This guy really likes me because he is sure bragging up a storm about what little he knows about me."  We ran off so we wouldn't miss the play.  It was a hokey 70's play at the Scera.  Good ol' community theater at it's finest.  We had SUCH a great time.  I was liking him more and more and it was so easy to be with him.  After the play, we went back to his house because he wanted to give me the grand tour.  He had spare slippers for his guests which to me, was a little odd, but hey, you don't get to be this age (or older) and single without some oddness here and there.  Once we were there, he started really trying to sell himself to me.  We had a good time and it was kinda' late so I decided it was time to leave.  He gave me a hug and walked me to the jeep.  He mentioned how much fun we would have during the summer with a jeep or something along those lines.  WOW!  Speaking of future, summer fun when it was the dead of winter with snow on the ground.  I think this guy might like me.

So, then the waiting game began.  I didn't hear from him which I thought was a little strange, but girls are always more anxious.  Finally, we exchanged a few e-mails and he said he was going to Aspen Grove with his family for the weekend.  I decided to wait til he got back to respond.  THANK GOODNESS.

That weekend, I met some friends for lunch.  I was going on and on about this great guy that I met who I thought I could probably like if we kept dating despite the difference in age.  My friend Sal asked what his name was.  I told her and this was her response (with no warning, mind you):  I know who he is.  He's a convicted felon and spent time in prison."  She then looks him up on her phone and shows me the pic.  Yep, confirmed! That's him.  Her sister dated him years and years ago and then she had a good friend date him before the friend got married.  This guy actually spent time in Federal prison and has a federal conviction.  WOW!  What a shocker!  Course, it does explain quite a bit.....why is someone LDS, 57 and never married?  Apparently, he's a serial dater and I would have been one of many in a long string of women he dates, then doesn't marry.  Well, that was the end of that dating saga.  There was NO WAY I could EVER consider something like that.  Innocent, wrongly convicted, or slightly NOT innocent.  A convict just isn't an option.  Not now, not ever.  That was the end of the love affair.  It lasted only 3 dates.  Thank goodness!  So that is Convict Craig's story.  A rather odd chapter in my dating life, but a good one.  I could have been duped, because he came across as such a good, solid guy.  PHEW!  Dodged yet another bullet.  It's a wonder I am not angry or bitter.  Well, OK, some days I am angry and other days I am bitter.  But I still find the humor in almost all my dating stories eventually.